Angry, Annoyed, and Irritated

We were all getting ready to leave the library at 5:30 this evening. We were gathering at the front door and there were two girls waiting for their ride. They were maybe 13 or so, and sprawled out on their stomachs on two of the memorial benches in front of the library. One was heavy, one was thinner. One of my colleagues came out and asked if the two girls were still there. Then another "colleague" answered, "Yes. Well, one girl and one beached whale." When I called her on it (I did not make a scene. I just told her in a shocked voice that what she said was mean), she (and someone else) tried to make it sound like it was because of the way the girl was laying. And no she should not have been laying that way. Its unattractive for anyone of any size, BUT I notice that she did not say TWO beached whales. So she obviously was indicating the heavier girl. Then I said I had to leave because I was meeting someone at my house. But I am so angry with her and those others who thought that it was "okay."

Here is another case. I was at a meeting at our main branch. We were talking about our technology programs for the staff and how one of the computer guys usually brings donuts. And then he said that the branch manager at one of the branches, always jokes about bringing the extras to the weight watchers (or TOPS, one of the weight loss groups out there). The manager obviously thought her joke was funny. The computer guy laughed, and so did the others meeting in the group. I'm ashamed to say that I did not say anything. But I did not laugh either. It was not worth getting into a moral discussion. If you ask me, the manager who cracked this joke should look toward herself and make some improvements in her own personality before criticizing and making fun of people who are TRYING TO MAKE IMPROVEMENTS IN THEMSELVES. Yes. I am shouting because this person is very, very much self-absorbed and no one seems to do anything about it. I am just very glad that I don't work directly with her.

This issue is close to my heart, because according to the charts, I am considered morbidly obese. Now, I don't look like I weigh what I do, because its pretty evenly spread out. And I exercise daily and eat healthy. I am making changes and improvements in my life and it really hurts to see people criticized for their weight. Its not like they WANT to be that heavy. I know I don't. But not everyone who is that heavy is that way because they eat constantly. Some people have a slow metabolism. My weight crept back up because of my depression. I wasn't happy, so I ate junk. I am an emotional eater and its only been since May or June 2007 that I really started to find other ways of dealing with stress. Perhaps the people who automatically make fun of someone's weight need to look deep into themselves and see what is wrong with THEM that they have to criticize someone's appearance. Yes, I am overweight. My knee-jerk reaction when I hear these comments is "Is that what she/he says about me?" But the more I think about it, the more I realize that is not why I am so angry. I am angry because to make fun of someone because of their appearance is stupid and childish and ignorant. Comment on people's behavior if you must, but NOT their appearance!

Sorry for the extra-long vent. I am so irritated and angry about this. Maybe I care too much, but I don't like to see people hurt.

Sleet in April!

This weather is so strange. Two days ago it was nearly 80. Today, it sleeted! This is why everyone is sick!

Life at the library is progressing. My presentation went well. Not many people came to the first one but a few more came to the second. Everyone who came seemed to enjoy it. Its budget time and the localities want to cut our budget this year. I hate this time of year. I try so hard to stay positive and the administration makes it sound so bleak and I guess it is. But I struggle daily not to let myself fall into my depression again. And when all I hear is that things are tight, we have to go to the hearings, etc, all I want to do is put my head in the sand. My county's hearing is April 15th. I already told my boss I couldn't go because I have a doctors appointment about that time. Which is not a lie. By the time I go to my appointment, go home, take care of the cats, eat dinner, etc, it will be 8PM or later. Sometimes I wonder why we are even bothering. Because we are not going to change their minds. And I resent the fact that we are "strongly encouraged" to go to the hearings. I work 8 hours a day and they want me to take another couple of hours of what little spare time I have to go sit there and listen to the same stuff that never makes a difference? Now I am depressing myself again.

And finally, a colleague and I were working in the staff trailer on tuesday. We have a trailer that we share for office space. All of a sudden the trailer just shook! It finally happened. Some idiot backed into it. And then drove off. Luckily my colleague got the license plate and we called the police. Apparently its a felony! No one was hurt (except the car's broken tail-light) and the construction foreman said that everything is stable. We've been waiting for it and it finally happened.

Happy Easter

Holy Mackerel! I haven't updated since the end of January. Ok...no excuses, but here is a possible explanation. At the beginning of February, my library closed for renovation and expansion and moved to smaller quarters in our meeting room. Its been very stressful cause we in even closer quarters than before and there does not seem to be any quiet time or place. For two weeks we were hurriedly moving things out of the library before the movers came and moved our collection. Every day I was tired, and sore. But we have been open (in a smaller capacity) since mid-February and I am still getting adjusted. I'm also doing a presentation next saturday, so I've been getting prepared for that too.

My healthy lifestyle is going well. I've lost 30 pounds since November just be eating real food (with an occasional treat) and exercising. I'm still taking my yoga class every saturday and I can tell that I am getting stronger. I've also started meditating as well which helps to control stress.

I haven't been reading much for fun, just stuff for this presentation. After next saturday I can read fun things again.

Everyone have a great easter and I will TRY not to let this long go by again!

Healthy Living

Usually January is one of the worst months for me. Its cold, dark, and gloomy. This month has not been as bad. I've tried getting outside as much as I can and I turn all the lights on in the house. It burns electricity, but I'd rather pay the electric bill than be more depressed than usual.

This brings to mind my new theory. I suffer from depression, and have for years. I am getting back to my normal self again. And I think its the healthy eating that's doing it. The last time I felt this good (mentally) was the last time I really ate healthy food. So now I am concentrating on eating lots of fruits, veggies, beans, grains, etc. I really don't eat much meat. I am also trying to buy organic when I can. And when the weather turns nice, I am going to try to find our farmer's market and support local farmers. My theory is that the more I stay away from processed foods, and the more I eat healthy food, the better I feel mentally. And so far its true. Thats not to say that I won't splurge now and then. I am only human, but I don't eat this stuff as often as I used to. I am trying to find other ways to de-stress: yoga, meditation, journalling, hiking, etc. I think that's whats making the difference this time.

Our snow

Here is the corner of my yard in today's snow.

Snow Day

Well, we actually got snow here in my part of Virginia. Usually my county is right on the snow/ice/rain line. But it started after 9AM and has been continuing since then (its 11:30 AM now). I was supposed to leave for work at 11:30 because its my late night and my boss called me at 10AM to say we were closing. My nephew is still at school. Apparently they waited too long (takes a while to mobilize the buses) so they are keeping the kids in school for now until VDOT has a chance to take care of the roads. My sister drives a bus for another county and she is sitting in the bus along the side of the road cause it is not safe for her to drive right now. I am a little worried, but there is nothing I can do. I don't drive well in bad weather. And my car is this 12 year old hyundai which is definitely NOT a winter weather car. I know people who live in the north are probably laughing hysterically at our reaction here, but we don't DO snow in Virginia. At least I know I don't. So I will just sit and worry, and monitor the weather and school closings.

Not sure what to say!

Why is it that when I am at work or in the car, I think of lots of things to post. But when I get home and get online, I forget them all? Maybe I am just tired. Our library is still getting ready for our renovation. The builders are doing site work and all this week (except today when it rained) we heard loud thumps and felt the building vibrating. Luckily that was just to get the earth packed down and we are hoping that the vibrations will ease up. They have already pushed back our moving out date. Date conflict with the movers. So far I am not too concerned or annoyed. It will be a bit of a pain to be in such a cramped spot for a year, but it will definitely be worth it in the long run, and I will have something to look forward to.

I am working on a book list for my library (along with my co-worker) on nonfiction about food and food people. I am reading Julie and Julia by Julie Powell right now. If you haven't heard of it, its about this woman who decides to cook every single recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking over the course of a year. She had originally kept a blog and this book is a result of that. Its pretty interesting. However, some of the recipes just sound icky to me. The bone marrow sauce just sounded gross to me. But maybe thats just me!

Fun Site

This site lets you play a vocabulary game and will donate 20 grains of rice for every word you get right.

Apology!

I am sorry that I have been neglecting my blog lately. I have been really down on myself to the point where I figured that I was boring both online and in person, so I have stayed away from blogging. I have been visiting other blogs, I just may not have commented. SO! This year, my primary New Years Resolution is to be positive and stop my negative thinking. And I am going to get back to things that I like to do, including posting on my blog. I can't promise that it will be daily, but I am going to make it more regular. I am also going to cut myself a break and stop putting so much pressure on myself. I just make myself miserable that way.

I have been reading and keeping a written journal of the books I read. It helps when I am doing book lists for the library. But its in the other room right now and I don't want to get up so I don't have the author for one of the latest books I read.

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. This is a true story about a man who after attempting (and failing) to climb K2, was nursed back to health by this tiny village in northern Pakistan. Mortenson pledged that he would return and, as repayment for their kindness, would build a school. This book tells how he accomplished this goal and how his plan continued to grow. Excellent book.

Slam by Nick Hornby. Hornby usually writes for adults, but this one is for teens. Sam is 15 and was born to an unwed teenage mom. He is pretty ordinary. Not bad at school and he loves to skate (skateboard). Then his girlfriend gets pregnant. And Sam's life starts to change dramatically. Hornby's book is great and not one of those "message" books. It is realistic and not preachy at all.

These are just quick summaries and reviews. I recommend both titles.