Angry, Annoyed, and Irritated

We were all getting ready to leave the library at 5:30 this evening. We were gathering at the front door and there were two girls waiting for their ride. They were maybe 13 or so, and sprawled out on their stomachs on two of the memorial benches in front of the library. One was heavy, one was thinner. One of my colleagues came out and asked if the two girls were still there. Then another "colleague" answered, "Yes. Well, one girl and one beached whale." When I called her on it (I did not make a scene. I just told her in a shocked voice that what she said was mean), she (and someone else) tried to make it sound like it was because of the way the girl was laying. And no she should not have been laying that way. Its unattractive for anyone of any size, BUT I notice that she did not say TWO beached whales. So she obviously was indicating the heavier girl. Then I said I had to leave because I was meeting someone at my house. But I am so angry with her and those others who thought that it was "okay."

Here is another case. I was at a meeting at our main branch. We were talking about our technology programs for the staff and how one of the computer guys usually brings donuts. And then he said that the branch manager at one of the branches, always jokes about bringing the extras to the weight watchers (or TOPS, one of the weight loss groups out there). The manager obviously thought her joke was funny. The computer guy laughed, and so did the others meeting in the group. I'm ashamed to say that I did not say anything. But I did not laugh either. It was not worth getting into a moral discussion. If you ask me, the manager who cracked this joke should look toward herself and make some improvements in her own personality before criticizing and making fun of people who are TRYING TO MAKE IMPROVEMENTS IN THEMSELVES. Yes. I am shouting because this person is very, very much self-absorbed and no one seems to do anything about it. I am just very glad that I don't work directly with her.

This issue is close to my heart, because according to the charts, I am considered morbidly obese. Now, I don't look like I weigh what I do, because its pretty evenly spread out. And I exercise daily and eat healthy. I am making changes and improvements in my life and it really hurts to see people criticized for their weight. Its not like they WANT to be that heavy. I know I don't. But not everyone who is that heavy is that way because they eat constantly. Some people have a slow metabolism. My weight crept back up because of my depression. I wasn't happy, so I ate junk. I am an emotional eater and its only been since May or June 2007 that I really started to find other ways of dealing with stress. Perhaps the people who automatically make fun of someone's weight need to look deep into themselves and see what is wrong with THEM that they have to criticize someone's appearance. Yes, I am overweight. My knee-jerk reaction when I hear these comments is "Is that what she/he says about me?" But the more I think about it, the more I realize that is not why I am so angry. I am angry because to make fun of someone because of their appearance is stupid and childish and ignorant. Comment on people's behavior if you must, but NOT their appearance!

Sorry for the extra-long vent. I am so irritated and angry about this. Maybe I care too much, but I don't like to see people hurt.

Sleet in April!

This weather is so strange. Two days ago it was nearly 80. Today, it sleeted! This is why everyone is sick!

Life at the library is progressing. My presentation went well. Not many people came to the first one but a few more came to the second. Everyone who came seemed to enjoy it. Its budget time and the localities want to cut our budget this year. I hate this time of year. I try so hard to stay positive and the administration makes it sound so bleak and I guess it is. But I struggle daily not to let myself fall into my depression again. And when all I hear is that things are tight, we have to go to the hearings, etc, all I want to do is put my head in the sand. My county's hearing is April 15th. I already told my boss I couldn't go because I have a doctors appointment about that time. Which is not a lie. By the time I go to my appointment, go home, take care of the cats, eat dinner, etc, it will be 8PM or later. Sometimes I wonder why we are even bothering. Because we are not going to change their minds. And I resent the fact that we are "strongly encouraged" to go to the hearings. I work 8 hours a day and they want me to take another couple of hours of what little spare time I have to go sit there and listen to the same stuff that never makes a difference? Now I am depressing myself again.

And finally, a colleague and I were working in the staff trailer on tuesday. We have a trailer that we share for office space. All of a sudden the trailer just shook! It finally happened. Some idiot backed into it. And then drove off. Luckily my colleague got the license plate and we called the police. Apparently its a felony! No one was hurt (except the car's broken tail-light) and the construction foreman said that everything is stable. We've been waiting for it and it finally happened.