We were all getting ready to leave the library at 5:30 this evening. We were gathering at the front door and there were two girls waiting for their ride. They were maybe 13 or so, and sprawled out on their stomachs on two of the memorial benches in front of the library. One was heavy, one was thinner. One of my colleagues came out and asked if the two girls were still there. Then another "colleague" answered, "Yes. Well, one girl and one beached whale." When I called her on it (I did not make a scene. I just told her in a shocked voice that what she said was mean), she (and someone else) tried to make it sound like it was because of the way the girl was laying. And no she should not have been laying that way. Its unattractive for anyone of any size, BUT I notice that she did not say TWO beached whales. So she obviously was indicating the heavier girl. Then I said I had to leave because I was meeting someone at my house. But I am so angry with her and those others who thought that it was "okay."
Here is another case. I was at a meeting at our main branch. We were talking about our technology programs for the staff and how one of the computer guys usually brings donuts. And then he said that the branch manager at one of the branches, always jokes about bringing the extras to the weight watchers (or TOPS, one of the weight loss groups out there). The manager obviously thought her joke was funny. The computer guy laughed, and so did the others meeting in the group. I'm ashamed to say that I did not say anything. But I did not laugh either. It was not worth getting into a moral discussion. If you ask me, the manager who cracked this joke should look toward herself and make some improvements in her own personality before criticizing and making fun of people who are TRYING TO MAKE IMPROVEMENTS IN THEMSELVES. Yes. I am shouting because this person is very, very much self-absorbed and no one seems to do anything about it. I am just very glad that I don't work directly with her.
This issue is close to my heart, because according to the charts, I am considered morbidly obese. Now, I don't look like I weigh what I do, because its pretty evenly spread out. And I exercise daily and eat healthy. I am making changes and improvements in my life and it really hurts to see people criticized for their weight. Its not like they WANT to be that heavy. I know I don't. But not everyone who is that heavy is that way because they eat constantly. Some people have a slow metabolism. My weight crept back up because of my depression. I wasn't happy, so I ate junk. I am an emotional eater and its only been since May or June 2007 that I really started to find other ways of dealing with stress. Perhaps the people who automatically make fun of someone's weight need to look deep into themselves and see what is wrong with THEM that they have to criticize someone's appearance. Yes, I am overweight. My knee-jerk reaction when I hear these comments is "Is that what she/he says about me?" But the more I think about it, the more I realize that is not why I am so angry. I am angry because to make fun of someone because of their appearance is stupid and childish and ignorant. Comment on people's behavior if you must, but NOT their appearance!
Sorry for the extra-long vent. I am so irritated and angry about this. Maybe I care too much, but I don't like to see people hurt.
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5 comments:
I've found that people my size appear to be one of the few groups that it is perfectly okay to say nasty things about. My husband, who is very large, has had things yelled at him out of car windows by strangers -- mean, hurtful things. Once we were in a store, and I heard an employee say, "I wonder where he buys his clothes." in an awful tone of voice. I called her on it and she lied -- said that I'd not heard what she said.
I totally agree with you. I work with someone who constantly remarks on the way people look- skirt too short! bad hairpiece! whatever. It annoys me, but I've finally realized that she has some self-esteem issues. People who are secure and confident don't need to put others down all the time.
Vent away. People are indeed thoughtless.
being overweight is not a problem .most of the peoples in this world are overweight .just dont care what other say and enjoy your life
Sadly I think we all put somebody else down in one way or another. It's a way of making ourseleves feel better if we know somebody else is worse off than us. Just don't take it personally.
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